Finding Your Tribe

(This post is part of our 2014 Resolve to Evolve program.)

You want a community. You want a group of people who have similar interests, passions, and values. You know being part of a tribe means support, insight, connection, and a feeling of belonging. But how do you find them?

Lisa Rankin MD lists seven tips for finding your tribe:

  • Be mindful in your intention-setting. When you’re ready to find your tribe, put it out there! Set clear intentions. Ask the Universe to support your desire. Try creating a home altar and fill it with sacred objects meant to call in your tribe. Burn incense. Bang a drum. Release old, limiting beliefs by writing them on slips of paper and burning them or by imbuing stones with self-sabotaging beliefs and tossing them in the ocean, a river, a lake, or over your balcony.
  • You’re special but you’re not special.  Sometimes we let our sense of being “different” or “special” get in the way of belonging. Understand that each of us is unique and individual, but we’re also much more alike than it may appear on the surface when we wear masks and lack the courage to be uncool. Don’t let your ego’s separation story keep you from belonging. Underneath our egos is a matrix of Universal energy that unites us all. We all hold within us sparks of divinity, and when we tap into the Oneness, the illusion of separateness dissolves and we’re left with what we most crave – intimate connection soul-to-soul.
  • Surround yourself with like-minded individuals. Take an art class. Join a women’s or men’s group. Sign up for a workshop. Find a spiritual community that feels authentic and lights you up.  Engage in activities that ignite your soul.
  • Ditch judgment.  Someone from your tribe might be standing right next to you in the grocery store, but if you label her as “other” because you don’t like her hairstyle or her fashion sense or what she put in her shopping cart, you might walk right by the person who could have been your next BFF. Instead of judging someone, dare to smile and make eye contact.  Look past the surface into the beauty and resonance of that person’s soul.
  • Be discerning. While judgment and criticism erect barriers between you and your tribe, you also won’t jive with everyone you meet. This is where discernment comes in. Get clear on the kind of community you hope to attract. Be honest about your own needs and be willing to communicate them. Ask for what you desire and invite others to do the same. Set healthy boundaries but leave your heart open. The most important thing holding a tribe together is a sense of safety with our vulnerabilities.
  • Call in your tribe. Don’t just sit around and wait for your people to find you. Put your desires out there on social media.  Blog about your tribe, so people can tell if they long to be part of it. Be specific about what you long for. (If you’re starting a purple hair tribe, tell them! If only goddesses need apply, be honest. If your tribe includes Christian Republicans or Buddhist Democrats or atheist moondancers, name it.) You’ll be surprised how easy it can be if you’re brave enough to speak your truth unapologetically.
  • Don’t be shy. Take action. When you meet people who light you up – the ones you hope will become part of your tribe – be brave enough to invite them to be part of your inner circle. Tell them how much you enjoy and admire them. Be unabashed about your affection and respect. Set a date to get together and connect with them. Start a women’s or men’s group, get together to mastermind your businesses, start an email thread or private Facebook group to connect you, plan a retreat together, or get creative in your own way!

 

Johanna Price

Johanna Price is a writer and editor living in the Twin Cities. Follow her on Twitter @johannaprice.